Having grown up in Southern California near the beach, I naturally tend to look to the ocean for inspiration. Afterall, nature holds infinite wisdom. As a child and teenager, I spent endless hours body surfing the ocean’s waves and learned how to manage myself out in the ocean the hard way. What anyone who has spent time in the ocean learns very quickly is that if you are on the breaking side of a wave, the wave will devastate you and keep you under water while you struggle to surface (a “wipe out” in outdated Southern California vernacular). Therefore, the idea is not to swim away from the wave, but to swim towards it, with the goal of getting on the other side of it before it breaks. If you swim towards a wave and duck under it, you will find yourself enjoying its calm ride on the other side.
As an ADHD and life coach, I find this to be a great analogy for life’s challenges. If we turn and run away from life’s challenges (swim away from the wave), they do not get easier. However, if we can find a way to swim towards our challenges, we will find a way through them. This does not mean facing every challenge with brute strength and charging forward; it does mean that there are many creative ways to turn towards a challenge and be curious about what we can do to face it.
Such is the case for struggles with executive function and ADHD. If these struggles are ignored, they do not go away. Kids do not “outgrow” them. There are ways to “face the wave” and maybe even have fun at the same time. With this in mind, here is another ocean analogy for you…
If you have you ever body surfed or ridden a boogie board in the ocean, you have noticed how difficult it can be to ride to shore when the water is still or when you miss a wave and have to do all the paddling yourself in the formidable currents. Trying to paddle in the unyielding ocean can parallel the struggle of executive function difficulties: the great effort involved to complete tasks and the frustrating lack of progress. Boogie boarding becomes much easier (and more fun) when you catch the crest of a wave, which powerfully propels you to the shore. A good ADHD and executive function coach can help you find the wave beneath you; help you find your strengths and use them to propel you forward in flow and empowerment. You are still doing the work of paddling and aiming your board toward your goals; you just have a wave and support beneath you helping you get to where you want to go. The purpose of an ADHD and executive function coach is to empower you to fulfill your own goals.
As an ADHD and executive function coach, I do not judge you. I do not shame you for not doing what you “should” have done. I respect and admire you for you. I am here to make your life easier (and more fun), just like the wave.
To sign kids up for ADHD or executive function coaching, see atriumacademics.com.
For parents and adults who would like support for themselves, see atriumlifecoaching.com
